Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
