I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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