I'm really into asian looking animals
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
