i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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