I must be too annoying 4 u.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
