Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
