wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
