I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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