ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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