All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if only i could text you this smell
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
