You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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