dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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