It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize