is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
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