We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
