You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
