I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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