Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
