I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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