Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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