Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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