watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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