I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
