the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
