boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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