I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
