She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
