well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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