Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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