did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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