Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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