What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
