:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
