I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize