I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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