it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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