I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And then he peed in my hair
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