good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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