How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
