I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize