idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
