Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
