Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
