Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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