Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
