so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
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Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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