You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
