Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
