i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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