I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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