So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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