Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
