My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
