At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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